Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
