We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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