I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
