I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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