In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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