Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
