You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
