she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
