yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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