did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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