absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
