return my video game
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
