I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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