So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
