My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
