Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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