I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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