wanna go halves on a baby?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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