im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
