So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
