In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
