i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?