I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it