Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
whose parrot is this?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize