put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
