she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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