Im at strip club and am horny
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
