Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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