I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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