i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
