I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
