Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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