I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
