did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
