Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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