butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
