he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
