Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
