my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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