..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
