apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
