Banned from zoo.
Again?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
