Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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