I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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