The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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