can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
