Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
