I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
