yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
