I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize