Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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