You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
