i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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