They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
