she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
