You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
