I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
