I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
