You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
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I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize