YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
