Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
where does the pee come out of this thing
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
