Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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