Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
