i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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