not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
