Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
