Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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